The Anxious Adventures of an Overthinker

There I was again, on the verge of tears and trying hard to control my breathing. Negative thoughts spiraled in my head on an endless loop. It took me some time to realize my anxieties were getting the better of me. For so long, I defended my anxiety with phrases like, "that's just how I am" and "It will be fine." I look back now on so many incidents from my youth wondering why I acted or felt a certain way in that moment and realized that was my anxiety taking over. It wasn't until I became aware of my anxiety that I realized I was not only an anxious person, but a colossal overthinker.

I would often associate my overthinking with major decisions, and think long and hard about the outcomes. Now, I know what some might say. A major life change warrants a thoughtful, thorough consideration. I agree! But for me, no matter the situation I would turn the tiniest thought in my mind over and over again. I would dwell on the "what ifs" until it would paralyze me with fright and anxiety. My overthinking was even interrupting my sleep and other aspects of my life. I was constantly back and forth from dwelling on the past to worrying about the future, and feeling "stuck."

It can be hard to silence the overthinking and concentrate on something else. It's not the same as being stressed or worried about a specific circumstance. Overthinking is a way of trying to control a situation and feel more confident about what to do next. For me, I fixated on possible scenarios and attempts to predict what would happen to reduce my anxiety. It just made it worse. If you're reading this, and have been making a mental checklist of our similarities, I want to say welcome! You're an overthinker! So how do we overcome these challenges and stop overthinking? It won't happen immediately, but here are some tips I've learned to break the cycle of overthinking.

Think of Your Overthinking As a Villain In Your Story

Overthinking, or rumination can often be seen as negative self-talk setup to make you doubt yourself and your abilities. In every story there's a protagonist and an antagonist. The antagonist is often referred to as the "bad guy". The one who envies the protagonist, and tries desperately to inconvenience the protagonist. When referring my anxieties to a person, or "the overthinker" I was able to channel those feelings into a person who I saw as someone who didn't have my best interest and wanted to see me fail. The overthinker was a true villain in my story and I wasn't going to give it anymore power than I already had. In true story book fashion, the less power I gave my overthinker the less control they had over me and I was able to defeat it.

Challenge Your Thoughts

When those negative thoughts start to creep in and you start to panic, overthink, and spiral try asking yourself these questions:

- Is what I'm thinking true?

- Is what I'm thinking helpful?

- Is what I'm thinking benefitting me for the better or worse?

By calling out these useless thoughts it can make them easier to manage.

Let Go of Your Past

The past is something I fixated on so often and it took me a long time to realize that the past is just that, the past. Its something you can no longer change so why worry about it. Not being able to let go of your past and move forward can keep you from living your best life. Be content with your current life, take it day by day ,and be grateful that you've grown from your past and you are better for it.

Move Your Body

I'm not saying run a marathon unless you're into that kind of thing, but many researchers say that exercise may improve depression and anxiety. My favorite thing to do when I'm anxious is take a short walk in nature. Even a five minute exercise can release endorphins to our brain!

Stop Trying to Be Perfect

This one was so tough for me! I use to thrive on being a perfectionist. You would not believe the amount of times I tried to have the perfect outcome, and get upset when I failed. Failing is part of life and happens to everyone. When you focus so much on being a perfectionist or an overachiever your self doubt and fear of failing takes over, which leads to replaying criticizing decisions and mistakes. Try focusing on little victories. If you tried your best you've already succeeded.

Schedule an Appointment with a Mental Health Professional

One thing that has changed for the better in recent years is our resources for mental health. Visit your primary doctor to discuss your options. There is no longer a stigma attached to visiting a therapist and it can be helpful to get advice from someone who doesn't know you. Going to therapy can give you the opportunity to voice your concerns and anxieties without fear of judgement. You can also learn coping strategies to manage rumination, and they can help you identify and treat your causes of overthinking.

If you don't feel comfortable speaking to someone in person, try a mental health app! There are so many out there, but some of my favorites are Betterhelp, Talkspace, MoodMission, and Moodfit. Some of these even offer anonymous therapy sessions!

I hope these tips have helped you as much as they've helped me. It's important to understand that you're not alone in these challenges. Everyone is dealing with something that's inconveniencing them. They may just be better at hiding it. Be grateful for who you were, are, and will become. Be kind to others and be kind to yourself!